“暗黑地牢”同人短篇

这个短小精悍的故事是我在Steam游戏“暗黑地牢”（Darkest Dungeon）的评论区发现的，原作者为一位ID为“LiquidSolid”的用户，他根据自己的游玩经历创作了这个短篇

在经过他的许可后，我把这个故事翻译并润色了一番，给大家分享一下。如果你是CRPG或者DND爱好者，这个故事应该会很对你胃口

二楼放翻译，三楼放原文

我要讲讲我手下一支全灭的英雄小队的故事，你来决定入不入这个游戏。

一位训犬师，一位神官，一个古董商人，以及一位麻风剑客被派去消灭藏身在荒野中的一个巫婆。他们似乎很有默契，逐一清理了沿途区域的魔物，未受重大战损，且保持理智。

当看到远处女巫的藏身之处时，他们决定扎营，为明天的决战做准备......

麻风剑客穿着笨重、粗糙的盔甲，以面具遮盖他因病而溃烂扭曲的脸庞。当他坐下休息时，他摘下了面具，让寒冷、腥臭的空气刮过脸颊。其他人则顿感不适，纷纷把目光移开，心里还在为自己健全的身体而感谢神灵。

训犬师在睡前最后一次抚摸他的狗，并轻声说。"放轻松，‘公爵’，你是条好狗。如果我明天死了，你就回家去，她需要你。"

古董商人在她的包里翻出了一些小玩意儿，伸手去拿她的幸运戒指。她注意到上面有一条小裂缝，但没有理会。

最后，神官完成了她的祈祷和冥想，合上了她的圣书，不久之后，她的眼睛也合上了。

在荒野雾蒙蒙的黎明中，四位冒险者醒了过来，准备进行最后的战斗。

队伍的前排，麻风剑客在队友的指引下，慢慢地打开了女巫藏身处的前门。大门生锈的金属尖叫着，它摩擦着铰链，打破了沉默......

在一口大得离谱的坩埚的后面，一个庞然大物出现了，它渴望着一场盛宴——巫婆已被唤醒！

"拿起武器！" - 训犬师厉声呐喊道。

冒险者们迅速地重组了队形，并握紧武器。

"抓住她，公爵！" - 训犬师命令道，‘公爵’随即猛冲向女巫。尽管体型臃肿，巫婆还是用手打中了冲锋中的猎犬，把它击飞到数米之外；难以想象的冲击让它晕了过去。

作为回击，神官立即咏唱咒语，并将她的圣杖高高举起；光和能量通过她的圣杖流向天空，齐刷刷地砸在女巫的头上。

但巫婆对这道圣光不以为然，耸耸肩。突然一把伸手抓住训犬师的腰，把他扔进了沸腾的汤锅里！"。

训犬师发出的震耳欲聋的惨叫声让恐惧和痛苦涌上了每个人的心头。即使是无法目睹这一惨剧的麻风剑客，听到痛苦的尖叫声，也会因恐惧而颤抖......

"把锅打翻！" - 古董商人一边喊着，一边用他那把古老且粗糙的匕首指着锅。

麻风剑客循着训犬师的尖叫声的方向，举起沉重的双手剑挥击砸向那口大锅。锅应声倾覆，已经半生不熟的训犬师滚到了地上.....古董商人迅速拿出自制的疗伤粉末，以缓解训犬师的痛苦。

"别过来！" - 麻风剑客紧张地警告其他人，他觉得某些更糟糕的事情即将发生......

"快跑！" - 古董商人尖叫着，他看见女巫伸手抄起一个大号钝器，准备对准这边来一击！"跑！"。

每个人都试图闪躲规避，直到这凶猛的一击命中了队伍里最薄弱的一环......

训犬师的头骨被打碎了。他的血和四散的脑浆散落他尸 体周围的地上。

其他同伴目睹了这场惨剧，恐惧袭击了他们的灵魂，让他们目瞪口呆，噤若寒蝉。

随后，没有视力的麻风剑客在困惑和恐惧中听到了他的盔甲和肋骨被压碎的声音——巫婆紧紧地抓住了他。这次轮到他被扔进锅里了。

"不！"--绝望的神官和古董商人喊道。
 "我们必须离开，就现在！" -古董商人因恐惧而尖叫。
 "不！我们不能把这个可怜的人留在锅里！" - 神官回应说。
"看在上帝的份上，他什么都感觉不到了！如果我们留下来，我们也会死的！"。
 "但是，这，这是不对的！"
 "他感觉不到痛苦的！" - 古董商人拉起神官和被吓呆的‘公爵’，他们很快就逃离了这个地方。

麻风剑客虽然毫无知觉，也感受不到任何疼痛，但他在被扔进锅里的那一刻就死了——恐惧击碎了他可怜的灵魂——他现在终于解脱了，他的灵魂不再被束缚在那具腐烂、无知觉、千疮百孔的躯体上了。

只有一个人回到了哈姆雷特镇，古董商人在回来的路上消失了，有传言说他其实只是个小偷。当哈姆雷特的居民看到回来的神官时，他们很快就围了上去，并向她询问其他人的情况。
"他感觉不到痛苦吧，感觉不到吧？"
"他不会遭遇不测了吧？
神官已经完全疯了，她立即被送到了疗养院。

没人关心‘公爵’，它凄惨地嚎叫着，悲痛了一小会儿。
然后它离开了哈姆雷特镇，去寻找训犬师的家。这条忠犬把忠诚保持到了最后。

I'm just gonna go ahead and tell the tale of my doomed band of flawed heroes and let you decide whether you should get the game or not;

A man and his dog, a warrior nun, an antiquarian, and a blind, diseased man start off to obliterate a giant hag located in the haunted weald.
They appear to be very well synchronized and successfully clear areas one by one without taking major injuries and maintain their sanity...
As they lay their eyes on the hag's hideout in the distance, the band decides to set a camp and get prepared for the horrors of tomorrow...

The diseased man, also known as the Leper, wears hefty, crude armor and a mask to cover his deteriorating skin and rotten face; as he sat down to rest, he takes his mask off to let the cold, fetid air soothe his burning eyes. Others, became immediately uncomfortable and decide to look away and thank their gods for their functional sight and intact skin, in silence.
The houndmaster pets his dog for the final time before sleep and whispers: "Don't worry Duke, you're a good dog. if I ever die tomorrow, you go and find Alice back in home; she needs you."
The antiquarian rummages through her bag of baubles and trinkets and reaches for her "lucky" ring. She notices a small crack on it, but ignores it.
And finally, the warrior nun finishes her prayers and meditation; closes her holy book and soon after, her eyes aswell.

In the weald's foggy dawn, the group wakes up and prepares for their final battle.

The frontline member of the band, the Leper, guided by others eyes, slowly opens the front gate of the hideout. the gate's rusted metal screams as it chafes against it's hinge and breaks the silence...
Behind a huge uncanny pot laid in the field, rises a bigger monster, hungry for a feast.

The hag has been awoken. "To Arms!" - screams the houndmaster.
The band quickly reorganizes it's formation and readily hold their weapons.
"Get her Duke!" - the houndmaster shouts and Duke rushes towards the hag; despite the monster's size and big belly, the hag strikes her hand at the charging dog and throws him meters away; leaving him concussed by the unimaginable impact.
In response, the warrior nun casts a spell and holds her holy mace high in the air; light and energy channel through her mace to the skies and fall deliberately on the hag's fiendish head.
Unfazed by the light, the hag shrugs it off and reaches for the houndmaster and grabs him by the waist and throws him into the boiling pot!

Not so long after the initial, deafening screams of the houndmaster, fear and agony surges into everyone;
Even the Leper, not being able to see the horrors, shakes out of fear by hearing the screams of pain...
"STRIKE THE POT!" - shouts the antiquarian while pointing her antique, crude knife at the pot.
The Leper, guided by the screams of the houndmaster, locates the pot and lifts his heavy Zweihander and strikes the pot.

The pot falls and spits the half-boiled houndmaster onto the ground...
The antiquarian quickly reaches for a homemade powder to soothe the unfathomable pain of the houndmaster;
"Stay Back!" - the Leper nervously warns the others, as he feels something worse is about to happen...
"RUN!" - the antiquarian screams as the hag reaches for a gigantic utensil and prepares for a strike!

Everyone ran for cover, until an excruciating blow was delivered to the weakest link of the group...
The houndmaster's skull was smashed. his blood and disintegrated brain littered the ground around him.
As the others with eyes lay their sight on the horrendous turn of event, fear strikes their souls and leaves them stunned, silenced.

The Leper, confused and feared, hears his armor and rib cage getting crushed. The hag had tightly grabbed him.
It was his turn to be thrown into the pot.
"Nooo!" - hopelessly the nun and the antiquarian shout.
- "We have to leave, NOW!" - the antiquarian screams out of fear.
+ "NO! we shan't leave the poor being in the pot!" - the nun responds.
- "He can't feel a thing for gods sake! If we stay, we die too!"
+ "But, this, this is not right!"
- "HE WON'T FEEL A THING!" - the antiquarian grabs the nun's hand and the stunned dog; they soon flee the area.

The Leper, although senseless and not being able to feel any pain, died the moment he was thrown into the pot. Fear had shattered his poor heart. He is now free. His soul is no longer bound to meaty, senseless flesh.

Only one returned to the Hamlet. The antiquarian had disappeared on her way back; rumors have it she was in fact, a kleptomaniac.
As the Hamlet's residents see the sight of the returning nun, they quickly scramble around her and ask her about the others.
"hE wOn'T FeEl a ThiNg RigHT?!!"
"HE WON'T RIGHT?!!"
the nun had gone completely mad.
She was immediately sent to the sanitary.

Duke, unbothered and ignored by the residents, howls and grieves for a short moment.
He then leaves the Hamlet to find his home. The good dog was loyal to the very end.

还有英文

还有英文

三楼是steam上的评论原文，担心自己的翻译不够准确就顺带放出来了ww

按照这位玩家的创作的故事复盘，他大概经历了这样一个游戏流程：

他选择了麻风、狗哥、古董商和神官打巫婆本（选古董商下Boss本属实有勇气），道中战损可控，boss房门口扎营，满状态进房

狗哥先手放猎犬撕咬，不幸miss。巫婆直接把狗哥抓进锅持续伤血，神官使用眩晕圣光，可惜没晕住

麻风砍锅救出狗哥，狗哥濒死刚出来，巫婆反手一个暴击把狗哥秒了，全队压力蹭蹭涨

随后巫婆又把麻风抓进锅，这时队伍已经失去了所有的主C，这位玩家选择撤退

神官进城之后压力破100直接疯了，不得不进疗养院花钱清折磨tag，血亏

这一小段游玩经历侧面反映了暗黑地牢能够有效治疗低血压的神奇功效（笑）